How I feel about being sick a week before I leave for vacation. #onthewoodentable http://ift.tt/YzMMwX

In a pinch. (A baby shower idea worth stealing: pinch pot making.)

Emergency fridge cleaner lunch: paleo hand rolls with lamb merguez, homemade kimchi, wilted greens, and cipollini onion. #onthewoodentable http://ift.tt/1AXVB04

hell / whole 30

I’m at day 30 of the Whole 30 (but because I still have about a week or so of Repairvite, technically it’s a Whole 37 / 45 / not good at counting). And I have a few questions:

  1. How did I make it this far in life without being able to think, breathe, or sleep properly?
  2. Since when did an improved sense of smell become a torture device?*
  3. And WTF is up with this 30 day period? (It’s over now, thank goodness.)
  4. Why do I still not miss dairy / pasta / bread / refried beans / cocktails + being hungover / soy and rice?
  5. (Just kidding. Totally miss soy sauce and rice.)
  6. How did I become that person who reads all the labels? And why did I not read all the labels before Whole 30?
  7. Why is sugar the second ingredient in beef jerky / trail mix / vegan yogurt / everything?
  8. Why is kombucha okay on Whole 30, even though it’s basically fermented sweet tea?**
  9. Have all of my friends deserted me because I would rather stay at home than hang out at a bar drinking water because sorry I can’t have soda because sugar and did you know that tonic water has sugar in it I mean okay I gotta go let’s catch up in 30 days?
  10. Have all of my friends given up on me because I can’t eat all the things they want to eat, and they sure as hell don’t want to eat the things that I can?
  11. (At least I saved a butt load of money.)
  12. Why does no one believe me when I say I feel awesome even though I can’t eat pizza?
  13. Why does no one believe the fact that there about 400% more things I can eat vs. the things I can’t, and yet everyone wants to fixate on the things that I can’t eat?
  14. Why does everyone make a weird face when I say “paleo”?
  15. Why do I make a face every time I tell people I’m on paleo? (Is it because I call it “Nazi paleo”?)
  16. Is it better to call it a cleanse, a diet, a reset, or something my acupuncturist told me I should try and shut up you’re not my real mom?
  17. Why is basically every conversation some version of “Can you have X?” “No, because there’s sugar / gluten / grain, etc. in it”?
  18. Have I essentially developed dietary restriction Turrets, where every response to a proposed food idea is shouting the ingredients that are verboten on Whole 30?
  19. How will I ever go back to eating how I used to when I feel so great now not eating the things that used to make me feel awful?
  20. Why haven’t I murdered anyone yet?

If there was a spectrum, where on one end it’s the butter between each flake in the pastry base of a feta and leek quiche tart, and the other is the perpetually wet inner lining of a down parka that hasn’t been washed since the guy first started wearing it two decades ago — my nose and I, we got this covered.

** If you want to get technical: while most of the sugar in kombucha has been metabolized into acid, nobody wants to drink a kombucha where all of the sugar has been fermented away because it would taste like vinegar.

Paleo bo kho. If only crispy baguettes to mop up all the delicious sauce were Whole 30 compliant. #onthewoodentable http://ift.tt/WuudJs

Love notes from summer that remind me just how lucky we are to live, love, and eat in San Francisco. #onthewoodentable http://ift.tt/1B5wKtl

#Whole30 Korean short rib (kelp) noodle soup. Super tasty, but still had to eat a Larabar two hours later. #onthewoodentable http://ift.tt/1AJ2rIA